I drove pretty far out of my way today to look at a 2011 Chevy Impala. It was priced about a thousand under all the similar ones so I called the man and inquired very diligently about the condition of the car and the history of the car. He gave me all the proper assurances and had a story that sounded logical even to someone as I, that is occasionally skeptical of whatever gets said. Alas and alack, my time, energy, gas, wear and tear on vehicle were all for naught. There were fair-sized blotches where the paint and silly putty didn’t stay on, and bare metal, I should say rusted bare metal where evident. Aah, that’s just Cosmetics thought I, not to worry about it. When I sat in I felt right at home as the seat was adjusted every which way except comfortable… apparently my sons have driven this last! The car started nicely & ran like I figured it should sound… no dash lights on, definitely a good sign. When I put it in gear and gave it a little gas nothing happened. Hmm… brake must be locked. Fiddled with that a couple times til I was sure it’s not locked and still nothing happened. Gassed it a little harder and something let loose with a concerning grind & lurch. Got to the end of the driveway and quickly discerned the brakes leave a bit to be desired. Drove a couple miles all the time hearing a noise I didn’t like. (think wheel bearings, brakes or all of the above here) Turned in a side street to gas it a little, brake hard, & try the reverse. Wouldn’t you know it, instead of being just a side street, it was the entry to (and I’m not making this up) “Saggy Baggy & Tired Estates” bring your own home or move into one of ours, the ultimate in park living! Nothing newer than 1982 please. (Ok I did make some of that up) Anyway, said Impala purred like a kitten, and if I’m not mistaken sighed, “home sweet home.” I did return to the dealership none the worse for the wear. When I pointed out some of the, what I considered deficiencies, in the car, the proprietor seemed neither surprised nor concerned. But as any good used car salesman would do, he started right in with, could I interest you in this white Buick Lucerne over here? I just got it in today and I mean to tell you this baby’s got it all… I’m not sure what I should use as the main moral or take away of this story… hey why don’t each one of you tell me what your main take away is? I mean besides the obvious, why are 53 year-old duffer’s not well set enough to just buy a new a car??
